Just the drive to keep going...

1,000,000+ customers

6500 gigs

12000 bands

7 PA systems

4 stages

4 musicians falling through said stages

1 musician going round with the ceiling fan

2 dressing rooms

6 recorded instances of being musicians being ‘interrupted’ in a dressing room

I case of attempted cashier strangulation

2 closures

1 bass string

3 chords

4 drum carpets

1 fire

3 floods

2500 mop heads

Nearly 1 whole bottle of Creme de Menthe

1 radio phone-in when we brought absinthe to York

100000 fajitas

200000 chip butties

3 logos

1 minibus through the window

3 sets of front doors

90kg of Blu Tack

1 ‘Silver Fox’

3 cappuccino machines

1 piano sawn in half

4442 noise meter readings

3 gents toilet cubicles

6 dubious 'banned for life' and 2 deserved

4 bands I will NEVER book again

9 pinball machines

I game of golf

1 visit from royalty

1 story I can never repeat ever

1 red telephone box

1 petrol pump

1 birdcage

4 weddings and 1 funeral (no, really)

1 camel

5 spin-off outlets

1 Daniel Lucas

A lot of Xmas night tequila sessions

4 national awards

1 hypnotist

2 break-ins

1 person in Columbia on the mailing list

1 deleted Tweet. The rest, whatever ...

I've had chairs, tables, ashtrays, guitars, drums, beer and a Sunday lunch thrown at me. Most of which I've thrown back.

If I never hear another drum soundcheck it will be too soon.

I've worn out a shoulder and a pair of ears. Got off lightly.

I actually just weighed a pack of Blu Tack for one of those statistics.

Before emails were invented, a musician wrote threateningly that he knew where my children went to school. I've always known who you are, mate, and I know you're reading this.

God grants you a specific number of pallets of Jack Daniels and I've gone through mine. I'm way off that for Pernod.

Both my parents have died while I've been doing this. Fibbers, by the way, not this status.

In the long term success of Fibbers, the kitchen never got the credit it deserved despite being nationally reviewed in food columns.  I didn’t tell them about Norman Cook microwaving his jeans, or Desmond Dekker and his jazz fags in there.

There was never a long-term plan, just a drive to keep going and a kind of dumb belief that it was somehow going to be 'alright'.  Frankly, I was amazed we got to the first Xmas.

I started it on a coincidence; and lucky things and one amazing person came to the rescue. There have been many times when Fibbers could have been finished off but God always took somebody's eye off the ball and it survived. Above all else, though, it owes it's existence to paying customers, not me or anybody else.

Oh, and I lied about one thing on that list.

Can I be excused now, please?